Nov. 22nd, 2024

So let's port over a ROMhack playthrough I did. Unprecedented Crisis, a Final Fantasy IV hack. Why this one? Because I'm a sucker for alternate history, that's why. And this hack does have two of the things needed to make a ROMhack tolerable: it's not excessively hard, and it's still the same game at the core. Plus, it's fun to dominantly play through a game; though I have some varianting in mind for it later and after finishing this playthrough.

Because I got a power outage in the middle of this and for some reason did not Ctrl+S to save what I was doing, the start of this probably isn't going to be my best work. Then it happened again, but I did save it. But I'll try my best to get everything back up to speed anyway!


The good news is, the first few parts are almost identical to vanilla. So I don't really need to go over it too much in detail. There's new weapons and equipment, but the main thing to talk about is the differences with characters. Kain is basically the same as his original incarnation - he jumps and he wears armor. Cecil by contrast is quite different. He has his DarkWave ability in this hack, and he also has a Black Magic command! It's very small at the start, consisting of only Blind and Poison (now a Dark-elemental spell that inflicts HP leak), but it's something.


I did a trick called Mist Clip here, just to see if it would still work. This allows you to enter Mist from the right side, which oddly enough, exists and is properly coded You can then access the good items in here immediately. It really didn't affect too much in the end, but was fun to do. Humorously, even without the equipment, Rydia's defenses were still almost as high as Cecil's - 15 to his 16. With it, she exceeded it with 18, and a whole lot of Magic Defense on top of that. Also, worth noting - DK Cecil is no longer very limited in what he can equip. Funnily, you get sent straight to the final dungeon if you try this in later versions of the hack. Speedruns actually exploit this.

Also of note, there are now Serpent Roads in almost every town in the game. However, all of them are sealed off at Mysidia's end, preventing any sort of use of them.


Rydia has lost her White and Black Magic commands. Instead, she only has Summon and a new command called Help! This works similarly to Tellah's Recall command, except it's not completely useless like that is in this version. Instead of randomly using either weak magic he could use anyway, status spells, or rarely Bio, it has a 24/160 chance of using Mist Dragon, Shiva, Ifrit, Ramuh, or Titan, a 16/160 chance apiece of Leviathan or Odin, and a 8/160 chance of Bahamut. She still needs to pay the appropriate MP costs for each spell. And instead of learning spells with the story, she learns them by leveling up. She begins with Imp/Goblin, and learns a new one every fifth level.


Because of this and it just not being hard, there was simply no need to buy anything except for maybe a few consumables before heading into the next dungeon. I'd find some more stuff for Tellah along the way, Rydia was equipped already, and while the new Broad Sword was a stronger option for Cecil, he can't use DarkWave with it in-hand. And he'll be getting the Darkness Sword in the dungeon, too! 100GP saved by not buying it. The Waterway was as per usual, simple. The Fire Rod I got from Mist Clip came in handy for conserving Rydia's MP, as did an Ice Rod found in the cave itself. It also worked when I got owned by Toad.


Tellah is here of course. While he only has half as much MP, he has twice as many spells, including the second-tier Black Magic spells. He came in handy for wiping out groups of elementally-weak enemies. The only tricky group here were the 4 WaterHag/2 TinyMage groups. Mute didn't block the latter's Rasp/Osmose on being hit with magic; they were the only groups who weren't massacred.


In the cave beyond, there's a set of Mythril equipment that allows Cecil to push his defense up past the mages. Octomammoth was a funny fight. For whatever reason, his lightning weakness is gone. He's only weak to Dark, so the best option for Cecil and Tellah were to attack and use Poison respectively. When Rydia's Chocobo did less than 100 damage, I had her use Help! instead and see if I could get anything useful. The result of this was her pulling out Leviathan to massacre the octopus.


Not much to note about the Antlion Cave or Antlion itself - who also had the privilige of seeing Rydia roll the 16/160 for the sea serpent of death before it, for 2576 damage. A couple interesting things: you can't access the treasure room in Damcyan, as the guy never disappears when being spoken to.


Second, there's an interesting and sensible change here to account for the fact that Rydia can't use Black Magic anymore. Instead of being afraid to cast Fire to melt the ice, she's afraid to summon a Bomb to blow the ice up. She learns it all the same afterwards. The nighttime event with Edward is also skipped.

So let's talk about the two new members. Edward is much better than in vanilla. Split is actually viable now, healing around 60-90 HP per use. This is actually the first instance of mass healing you get access to. His Sing command is no longer random, with him being able to use unique song magic. The two he begins with are Defense and Speed, which cast Protect and Haste on all party members respectively. In the Antlion Cave, he learns the Allure song, which attempts to inflict confusion on all enemies. Good for locking down foes, and better than using his weakish harps in the cave.

Rosa's function has significantly changed. Her new class is Archer; she has lost most of her White Magic. What she does have and learn is time magic orientated. Her class ability is Charge, which functions identically to Yang's similar command in vanilla. Furthermore, her Fight command acts as Aim, so there's no need to stress over having to scroll down to the command every single time.


But yes, boom! And a snappy comment to go along with it.


Yang got a pretty significant nerf. Claws, which allowed him to tie elements or racial damage to his attack, are no more. In exchange, he received the Chakra ability, but this is complete garbage. The problems with it are twofold. First, it can only target Yang himself. Second, it heals 1/3 of his current HP. Not maximum, current. So those times you would want to use it - when Yang is low on HP - it's completely useless!

Not much to say about MomBomb. The autobattle sequence with Yang before it doesn't happen, with him kiling those in the cutscene too. The little bombs are easily cleaned up between DarkWave, Kick, and Rydia's Shiva. One of the big changes on the mountain are the Cocatrices, which now actually can petrify you. Edward's Allure song helped stop them before they could get going.


The Fabul battles are easy. The enemies do resist Dark, so I have Cecil use a Mythril Sword I picked up on Mt. Hobs when they're not in use. DarkWave and Kick decimate the ImpCap/Weeper/Waterhag groups, and would even dent the soldiers badly if not for the fact that I want to kill the Generals every time for the extra experience, which isn't a problem.


Small changes throughout it: Rosa and Rydia now show up instead of a generic guard, and Rydia uses a Phoenix Down at the end.


HACK NAMEDROP HYPE. Oddly, you're thrown directly onto the ship after this scene, where you get the Ancient Sword instead of the Deathbringer.


Um. There's something different about this boat ride, but I can't put my finger on it...

So yes, the hypothetical we're dealing with here is, "What if Leviathan never attacked the ship on the way to Baron?" So now we're in Baron with Dark Knight Cecil, Yang, Edward, and Child Rydia. Unlike getting here normally, you can't go to Mist.


But you still need to beat up some guards to get in. Ridiculously easy, of course. The shops offer up another defensive upgrade for Cecil, which I happily snap up to at least do something with my hardearned cash.


The Old Waterway is quite dangerous, with enemies stronger than your party showing up. Edward's Life song that he learned here restores 1/5 Max HP; I generally found Split to be better. At least at the end of it, a special guest comes in from EasyType: the Coral Sword!


You break Cid out of jail by using the Baron Key. I give him Cecil's old Mythril Gear. He has a special skill called Rage that sees him inflicts Berserk on himself.

Cagnazzo is recognizable in pattern, but the fight plays out somewhat differently. You can't startle him out of using electricity (though your only way to would be Rydia with Ramuh or the Thunder Staff and Lit-Bolts, which reminds me, those are now droppable items, along with FireBombs and the new Ice-Balls), so you will have to take them from time to time. But he will eventually lower the water himself. He's weak to ice and electricity without any switching depending on his state. ColdDust and JudgBolt are just as strong as each other here, worth noting, and HellFire for that matter.


He still goes into his shell at the end for increased defenses/evasion. Of course, some attacks deal damage regardless of defenses!

You get the Water Crystal after facing him. But wait, what happened to the guy you fight before him?


Well, because you got here sooner, Baigan was not corrupted by Golbez. He knew about the King being a monster, but he couldn't take action against the sorcerer and Baron's forces. Cecil confronts him about this, but sympathizes with his explantion. Baigan watches over the kingdom in the meantime. Also, the Enterprise has yet to be built here. And the kingdom's boats are useless. So how are we going to get to Troia to protect the last crystal?


With the help of Summonloli leading us to a new dungeon!

At Mist when I'm supposed to be in Mist, I buy defensive upgrades for Edward, which was pretty overdue. The new stuff isn't that much worse for Cid either, so I make the switchover for him, giving him much more magic defense. Yang remains with the strength boosting equipment I picked up in Fabul. Rydia of course, already has stuff from here from before.


A short ways into the next dungeon, Edward becomes a highly valuable asset offensively. The Fairy Harp is like all fairy equipment: extremely strong against giants. Ogres pollute the first screen of this dungeon, so this is a very good weapon. Rydia's Bomb spell was of use here, since most of the threats were smaller groups of enemies with a lot of health, and it charges faster than the elemental spells, too.


They have some nice drops, too. I end up with two of these for free. They're better than the headwear Cecil and Cid were using, so I make a swapover.


The battle against Scarmiglione is moved to here. He only hisses as you walk near the bridge, and it's Yang who senses him here. He himself only has 3000HP. Rydia was one level away from learning Ifrit, so I got her that level, and had her instantly wipe them out. Instead of Bolt, he counters everything you do with Calcify to inflict gradual petrification. My party was in absolutely dreadful shape by the end, like shown here but with Cid 3/4ths of the way there, but no one was fully petrified. Edward did kick it though, due to a Bio spell.


The undead form is also much nastier. Instead of just attacking, he throws in spells, including an opening Quake. Thankfully, Rydia can do her thing with Ifrit. Yang was instantly petrified here, and stayed that way because I selected Phoenix Down instead of Remedy, but this was by no means insanely hard! The physicals did 1 damage to Rydia and Edward, and not much more to those in the front row. They could inflict Curse (halves attack and defense), but still negliable. Also, if you're wondering about the weird way the numbers look, I was trying out a quickstrat for image splicing. Though it works fine on the GBA version, it doesn't so much on the SNES version.


Cutscene! Mysidia learns of the false king, and sends a group - including Palom and Porom - on a diplomatic mission. Then they get attacked by a sea monster just like you do in vanilla, before the twins Warp away. As a random note, despite using the same graphics, this is supposed to be a random sea monster and not Leviathan at all.


It's important to know about this obscure Chocobo Forest if you want to advance. I knew about it, though had trouble finding it. Troia itself has the elemental arrows for sale, but otherwise, nothing too much. In the castle...


Shit goes down. The Red Wings attack, and Golbez is all "going somewhere?" and arrives to personally lay the smackdown on us in a cutscene, with help of the Shadow Dragon. But then Tellah is like "going somewhere?" to him, and attacks.


And because you can't have FF4 without this scene, Tellah's rage unlocks the ultimate spell, and he casts Meteo on Golbez.


Inversion of circumstances. Edward leaves us to stay by the side of a bedridden Tellah in Troia. But Tellah lives! He vows to learn every spell ever and defeat Golbez. Also, the Crystal of Earth hasn't been stolen by the Dark Elf. The Clerics give us it to hold on to, so that Troian lives are not endangered by a second attempt at an invasion.

Tune in next time to watch this hack start to fall apart at the seams!

Next | Index
Last time, Cecil and company managed to reach Baron without their ship being attacked at sea. They defeated the fake, drowned king Cagnazzo in time to save Baigan, but due to an airship shortage, had to go through the Misty Mountains to reach Troia, defeated the blighted despot Scarmiglione on the way there. There, Golbez attacked and defeated them, only for Tellah to attack and defeat him. The old Sage survived the casting of Meteo, in this history.

So now what do we do? The hack gives no hint of this. Go to the Magnetic Cave and try to protect the crystal by hiding it there, similar to The After Years? Nope. We're not allowed into the Magnetic Cave, with the game pushing us back for no discernible reason open entry. Do we go to Mysidia and climb Mt. Ordeals to become a paladin? Nope, the latter is blocked by fire, and the former Cecil refuses to enter out of shame. Agart? Mythril Town? All you'll find there are places to shop.


No, instead you have to go to Eblan. Here, you meet up with Edge, and an out-of-character Rubicante. In this hack, he really did experiment on Edge's parents, instead of it being Lugae and Rubicante being disgusted with that. This is where the hack starts to diverge from "alternate history" into "reimagining", and this is the first of many questionable changes for the sake of being changed that some ROMhacks have a bad habit of doing. Luckily, I like ROMhack deconstruction about as much as alternate history, so here we go.


As for Edge himself, he lost his unique Ninja magic for Black Magic with an elemental focus, including Tornado which now does Wind damage. Due to the makeup of your team at the moment and the loss of Boomerangs as a weapon type, that's what he's most useful with in the now enemy-laden castle - though Tornado is the only useful one, since the only others are the level 1 elemental spells and Fire2. As a random note, don't quite understand how, but Ninja is coded in an interesting way to replace a Black Magic command set for him specifically.

There are still some trapped chests, but only lone Stalemen are in these, which Cid can shred. They guard various pieces of Flame equipment. Finally, the random encounters around the castle itself are a bit weaker, being from Troia's set instead of Eblan


Rubicante is in the basement. I equipped the Flame Shield and Flame Armor on Cecil and Cid respectively - they protect against fire in this hack instead of ice. The ones in the front row attack, Rydia summons Shiva if the cloak is open (2000+ of his 10000HP! Which is a bit less because of a death message) and Bomb if not, and Edge is pretty much an item bot.

I make use of a neat trick here: remember how in my Solo Rosa challenge, I mentioned that Rubicante will revive your whole party if you hit him with fire? It works that way in this hack too, and I took advantage of this when people went down. All in all, it wasn't a difficult fight. He's implied to retreat after being defeated.

############

I promised a hack that drastically went down the drain in quality, and so I shall deliver.


So beyond Rubicante is the Cave of the Eblan's living quarters floor. Yang leaves you in order to lead the armies of Eblan. The enemies in here are from the same part of the game as they would ordinarily be, and are a bit painful. Which makes you wonder why he replaced them on the overworld and not here. Nothing really of note in the shops, aside from Shruikens being 100GP apiece. I pick up a good stock of them for Edge's use.


So you go through, and then you end up in the enemy stronghold: the Tower of Zot. Which is somehow the Tower of Babil in this complete with the Babil music, but it has the same enemies as Zot. Enemies that are weaker than the ones in the cave leading there. Why he felt it necessary to do this fusion, I have no idea. Rydia learned Sylph during this excrusion, but the treasure really wasn't much to talk about.


The Magus Sisters weren't hard at all. They only got a chance to get off a single Delta Attack, between Cecil/Cid's attacks, Rydia's Bomb summon, and Edge throwing Shruikens, before Cindy kicked it. Sandy did throw out a Comet, but Mindy and her fell shortly thereafter.


In this hack, instead of there being mind control, Kain is just pretending to be loyal to Golbez. This bugs me in a bit of a weird way, though I'm not sure why


Barbariccia is up next. Somehow, Rosa tricked her into untying her, overpowered her, and tied her down in her place. Cecil fails to notice until he's untied Barbariccia, because I guess all blondes look the same, and so Kain teams up with us to take her down. She was an easy fight. In addition to Kain's jumping, Edge's throwing as in my solo challenge with him could pierce through and deal damage. Rydia's Sylph is Wind-elemental, and also worked to deal with her effectively.


Hey, stupid ROMhacker! When you write dialogue like this in an attempt at humor, get your facts straight! There's two moons in the sky in the world of FF4! Faulty dialogue - or more commonly, reference-laden, especially just for the sake of making a reference - is one of my biggest pet peeves with ROMhacks. In less crazy news, apparently the tower does leads to the moon, rather than summoning a giant robot or anything. But yeah, I was watching a friend play this before I got here, and my exact reaction was

[06/29][00:50:17] "The moon. As in, the one in the sky."
[06/29][00:50:30] bluntness aside, THERE'S TWO OF THEM :^)


All right, so we go back down. To the floor where you entered, there was a locked door. You can enter it with the Tower Key, and it leads to a Crystal Room. By the way, it's possible to encounter enemies from the second version of vanilla Babil in the brief walk between there and the crystal room. I got a preemptive here, so it wasn't that big a deal, though.


And suddenly, Rosa? This scene has some of the strangest original dialogue so far, not counting any forced references. Rosa goes around greeting everyone; kissing Cecil, saying hi to Cid who wants her to call him Grandpa for some reason, thanking Kain for being a spy, acting motherly to Rydia, meeting Edge, and generally acting cutesy. Also, I guess how she did it was she wooed Barbariccia into playing some hardcore BDSM but then ran off, the same Barbariccia who's implied to want Kain, but okay.

We get ready to go to the one and only moon by placing the Crystals on their respective altars, when suddenly, it's not working! What could be missing? Rydia guesses Heart, and I reach through the internet and strangle the ROMhacker for that stupid reference. Golbez reveals the second set of Crystals and the Underworld, and I guess in an act of being too demonstrative, drops us in a trapdoor to it. We somehow lose Rydia during this, ending up at the base of the Tower of Babil.


We can't go in there because Kain stops us, but we can go to the Dwarves' Castle, where Palom and Porom somehow ended up in after casting Warp on the ship earlier. The Dwarves offer them as help, and for once, the ROMhacker does something good with Cecil's reaction to them being Mysidian. Cid leaves us to help upgrade the tanks, and also a random airship lying around. It's red, and it's from the dwarves, so the twins come up with the name the Red Dwarf. So in the course of a few dungeons, our entire party save Cecil has been replaced.


So Porom is an interesting character. She can strangely equip Hammers now, and needs one to use her new ability, Bonk! It has a 25% chance each of casting Arise, Haste, Blink, or Esuna. While of questionable use, it's at least leagues better than the original Cry. Her defenses are still low, as is her attack multiplier, so this is more of a cute gimmick than something you can really rely on. They're also two handed, so you'll give up an armlet if you use it.

Palom has been given his Bluff command back, renamed Focus. Unlike his sister, he has nothing drastically special equipment-wise. So he has to do what Black Mages do best instead. Both of the twins suffer from Edge syndrome - they come at a much lower level than the rest of your party would normally be at.


With the Airship, you now you get a choice: the Feymarch, Bahamut's Lagoon (GET IT??? :D :D :D) - which replaces the Sylph Cave, or the Ice Mines - which replaces the Sealed Cave. This is where the game starts to get a bit more open-ended, ridiculously hard, and also quite hilarious in the wrong way. Each of these has a crystal, and props for actually giving them locations which vanilla and even The After Years is noticeably evasive on; they likely just ran out of time and never bothered to explain it. They house the Shadow, Holy, and Ice Crystals respectively, with the Dwarves' Castle having the Bolt one.

As for easily-accessible shopping, the castle doesn't have much of anything. Some of the stuff in Tomra is ridiculously expensive. I decide to skip out on most of it aside from grabbing some Ice Arrows for Rosa, due to a shortage of money and hoping I'll be getting even better stuff in the various dungeons.


Also, as it turns out, King Santos of Tomra is literally Santa Claus. Dwarves say Lali-Ho. He says Ho-ho-ho. Since when does Santa live in the geographical equivalent of Hell?!


I decide on the Feymarch first, to check out that last shopping locale. And it is brutal. You have no access to Float, and you're fully expected to cope with it by buying a billion healing items, soldiering through, and opening the menu every few steps over the damage tiles under penalty of having to run from random encounters. That are very capable of one-shotting some of your party members, because your equipment and levels aren't anywhere near what's practical for these enemies. Having to catch up the twins doesn't help this much, either...


I can cope, though. And the best part about coming here is, I get this thing from a trapped chest. The five Warriors in guarding it weren't a big deal, and fell to DarkWaves and Tornados. Here's Cecil's stats with it on. Though it has a penalty of -5 to every stat, it is extremely powerful and quite accurate.


Rydia takes Yang's role of being saved by the Sylphs, who have relocated here due to their cave being taken over by a reference. The boss, who attacks after you get the Shadow Crystal...


Not only is it a palette swap of Scarmiglione, it's the exact same fight! There's a bunch of Zombies, there's him in the back, he counters every time you hit him (with Stop), and he orders the goons to attack with RedFeast. Except they are way too powerful and leave my party completely crippled after just one of them. Apparently, these repeats may be in-part due to engine limitations making it difficult to insert new AI routines...but still.

I can't seem to kill him before he can get it off, and when I do kill him to stop those attacks, I still have to deal with the vicious Reapers. They have a ridiculous 6000HP, which Demi can at least cut into, but their physicals alone hit hard. So I have no choice but to turn back and leave Ciriatto for later.


The Lagoon's enemies are somewhat more manageable. Most interesting was a trapped chest with this guy in it. He actually was kinda like a mashup between FF1 Astos and his appearance in this game. He opened with a Fire2/Lit2/Ice2 combo, and would throw out Death and a party-wide Slow as part of his script. While I didn't have the equipment from later on in the cave that would deal insane damage to him, this wasn't too difficult an encounter. Each Shruiken throw did 1000 damage in particular.


The Avenger was the prize from the Wizard fight, but also in the same room of six was this thing. The Mystic Hammer was enough that Porom could actually do semirespectable damage when fighting in the front row. Specifically, it's extremely effective on mechs and mages - which included the ToadLady enemies and her TinyToads (speaking of, Cecil's and the twins' equipment helped stave off that and the Malboro's Breath). It can randomly silence on a hit, and gives a +15 to Wisdom and Will. The Rune Bow also was highly effective.


Completing a trifect was the Mage Masher, guarded by this ugly-looking thing. Flame Sword, Fire Arrows, and Fire2 took care of it quite handily.


A Rubicante palette swap who goes by Draghinazzo was the boss here. He even restores your health. He claims to be a prophet for Bahamut, but a slip of the tongue and we get to fight him.


He hits like a goddamned truck, but then again, so does Cecil with the Avenger. It seems the sword is Dark-elemental. Because of it, this one didn't last too long. He opened with Holy to flatten someone, then closed his cloak and used Blink. Had Edge and Palom attack to disperse it. His only other real move was a double physical combo concentrated on Porom. If I had Bio on Palom, this would've been a total stomp.

The Black Shirt and White Shirt were in the chests behind him. They were an interesting choice. The Angel Robes the twins had on do give +5 to Wisdom and Will (as well as Vitality), resisting Mute, Pig, and Toad. The others give +15 to their respective stat, and the White Robe resists the basic three elements. Seems situational.


I went to the Ice Mines next. It is literally the Ice Cave from FF1 in layout. Good creativity. The encounters here seem to be easiest of the trio, but their payout and the encounter rate are both low.


There was another Wizard-in-a-box here. It took 3184 from Edge, 2322 from Porom, then flopped over dead. The Chaos Blade was the reward from this, another Dark Swrod for Cecil, but the Blood Sword was coming out stronger even factoring in the stat drop.


Interestingly enough, the same Warp trick as would work in FF1 to get to your destination works here, though I explored the lower floors anyway. There was a huge cache of gold down there and an IceBrand.


Sheesh, now he's even recycling dialogue and circumstances on the palette swaps. Or making fun of himself/engine limitations.


The latest palette swap, Alichino, was a straightforward affair. His Ice3s hurt, but were not really lethal. When he raised the ice (with another stupid reference), he did throw up Reflect, but it didn't stop Cecil's Flamesword or the two Fire Arrows Rosa had on her, both of which could do over 1000 each. Despite getting owned by the Reflect, this one was a simple affair. And Palom and Porom find the real king alive and well in the ice after the battle.


Now for this guy proper. A couple of Yaguu Darkness and some extra attacks did indeed kill him before he could order the RedFeast brigade. I decided to get a few more levels beforehand, on seeing what was waiting when testing Bio for curiousity purposes later. And holy crap, Harm did not disappoint. Despite this, it was still better to do this than to save the Yaguus for later.


And naturally you fight undead Ciriatto too. He opens by telling you to hear the song of the fallen angel, uses Angel song on you, and reduces everyone to critical HP. Luckily, Porom had Cure3, but she was still my primary damage dealer with Harm, making this really awkward. Rosa's Holy Arrows did 1600. The first time, I got smacked by DarkWave and killed off from there. The second time, I prepared for it.


With a few Palom Focused Fire2s (for lack of anything better, he wasn't weak to it), thrown Shruiken or Edge attacks, and healing potions when needed, I got the kill. He had 16000 HP total.


So back to the Castle. I do a bit of inventory management, and unequip Rosa because she leaves. Cid upgraded the tanks, and even used the Bolt Crystal to generate an anti-Warp field. But then the Red Wings attack, Cid's fortification is put to the test, and Rosa leaves to help for some reason. Now, it's known that FF4 actually was indeed going to have two sets of archfiends. Calcabrina is one of the remnants of this, named after one of the Malebranche in Dante's Inferno much like the rest of them and the archfiends here. Is it finally time for its sort-of official promotion?!


Of course not! Meet Malacoda of the Thunder. She'll be able to bypass the electric barrier stopping Golbez from just Warping in and taking the Crystal. Now see? In-universe references are the kind of thing you should go with.


Meanwhile, we still do need to deal with those...that one doll. It's ridiculously easy. Palom's Bio and Porom's regular attacks could do over 2000 damage. It has 10000HP, and accomplished nothing significant before falling to pieces. It even had its HP run out.


Then Golbez shows up, beats us down in a cutscene because he's a cheater, takes the three Crystals we garthered, only to fall prey to his only other weakness besides Meteo: getting literally stabbed in the back by Kain! Malacoda shows up, and now we have to fight her.
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As with the last three, this is the same deal as with her palette swap. She goes into a spin, Kain needs to Jump on her to get her out of it. This was really annoying at first, because she used Magnet to Stop him. She also hit Porom with it, which was dangerous and forced me to heal with HiPotions with everyone else, and Palom, who had been Focusing to power up his Ice2s while waiting on Kain. It seemed she had an Ice weakness.

I reset and got Kain a Blizzard Lance, but it didn't contribute anything other than heightened offense - his Thunder Spear was perfectly capable of hitting her due to a Wind weakness from her floating (weaknesses override absorption when it comes to physical hits). After a while of fighting, her 30000HP was all gone.


So status report? Golbez has 7/8 crystals, but it's useless without the last one we hold. Because Cid is an engineer and Rosa is a fucking badass and heavily damaged their airships with nothing more than her bow and sharpshooting skills, they get to lead the frontal assault on the tower. Meanwhile, everyone else will enter, using Kain's knowledge of the tower's layout, Edge's Ninja skills, Palom and Porom's magic, and Cecil's pretty face, and take back the rest of them!

Next | Index

So with Kain in our party, do we switch Porom to the back again? Oddly enough, she is about as capable with the Fight command as Kain is, so he gets to stay in the back and use Jump, while Porom gets to swing her hammer. He can also equip the Throwing Axe if I really do need the Fight command (if Jump is too slow, I guess). Also, check out this freaky quirk when landing.


Some of her survivability goes up when I pick this bad boy up. Despite an unassuming name, the Armlet, in addition to a +10 Vitality bonus, protects against physical attacks from every single enemy race in the game. Its only downside is that it can't be equipped by any class that wears armor. It was also possible to send Edge back and have him rely on Shruiken, but I decided that there was more to keeping him in the front row than there was to putting Kain there. I also got a Blk.Cowl drop as a bonus for him, a floor before I'd get it normally.


Nope, this hack does not let you have Alerts. Lame.


I think I briefly touched on the Steal glitch in my Solo Edge report, so here it is in action. Despite the novelty, it wasn't worth it for Porom to do this when her Mystic Hammer was extremely powerful on its own. Similarly, when I got a Rune Staff/Silence Staff drop further in, she remained with the hammer.


The biggest problem when climbing the Tower were those BlackCat enemies. Hit them with a nonlethal attack, and they counter with Blaster, to either paralyze or instantly kill a random party member. Things like Edge's throwing, Kain's jumping, or Palom's Bio/Quake could bypass it, though.

So we climb up the floors of the tower. Lugae is not there to obstruct us, leaving us free to proceed behind him to the basement floors behind him (from Babil when you're entering it from the Eblan Cave). Yeah, I'm not sure how that works either.


One time it was worth it to switch Kain in, though: these Mad Ogres were weak to the Ogre Axe I'd picked up. Knowing they were in this box, I made the switchover for this one battle.


Lugae is waiting before the Crystal Room. He wasn't that difficult. Porom could dismantle the robot with her hammer, and the others' damage was not to be sneezed at as well. I was able to quickly move on to the second phase of the battle.

This whole bit is one big speedrunning reference. Lugae underflows the robot's MP to cast Meteo, which would actually be funny and pretty par for ROMhacks if he cast the real one and not Zeromus' which is basically harmless. And similarly, if Barnabas explosion from lack of oil kills everyone (it's no different than before), forcing you to kill both at the same time. Then he uses the attack you glitch in to kill the final boss instantly in the 64 door glitch category, the Grenades' Chain Reaction. Which is dubbed upt Co because menus, and is called that here too because references. For whatever reason, this does not instantly kill you. No damage race before doom either. Wasted moments...


Similarly, Lugaeborg was just a giant beatdown. He got off one nasty Laser due to his inflated HP, but without Sleeping Gas counters to worry about, this was probably slightly easier than it would be in vanilla.


The scene before this is weird. Golbez places a Crystal down, then just walks up to you and attacks. It's actually pretty similar to his Dwarf Castle incarnation from vanilla. Two key differences being you can resist the paralysis (Kain and Cecil's Viking Helmet/Power Gauntlets allowed this), and there's no Summoner to show up to save you. Regardless, I was able to inflict heavy damage on Golbez between Cecil using the Avenger, Palom using Bio, Edge physically attacking and hitting his Light weakness, and Porom and Kain both attacking physically.

From here, it was a race to see if I could outrace his Demolishes and counters on being hit. I didn't bring enough Phoenix Downs, so this was a tight thing. Cecil continued to chip away while Kain and the others played revival duty, throwing out damage when all was right.


And a final Quake ended it, the encounter coughing up one hell of a drop. Cursed Ring, by contrast to vanilla, has its elemental absorption built-in, and only has a penalty of -5 to all stats.


What the FUCK? I beat him! And I beat his dragon! Why the fuck am I the one face down on the ground? Fuck this ROMhack. I'm not putting up with this garbage. We won. What's on the other side?


This room! Oddly, it is actually set up to have an exit back, unlike its vanilla counterpart. The door there is also functional. And it leads...


Um? Hello?


I can't put down any crystals. The altars don't even respond. But I can go in the middle to repeat the scene where I get sent to the Underworld, though without any ill effects other than having to go up the tower again.

Anyway, with that BS and winning a battle I didn't know you weren't supposed to win and yet was coded with those drops and yet was not coded with anything to either branch off into an alternate path or explain why you're suddenly facedown on the ground out of the way, the game REALLY opens up. We're told to find our friends and save the world! Just like in FF6, except not really! There's also a few other quests you can do, and a primary one is finding the Floater.


So I can finally go to Mysidia. Palom and Porom encourage him to see the Elder, who has forgiven him by this point for his being deceived. Though Cecil has yet to forgive himself, the Elder says to climb Mt. Ordeals to become a Paladin. It seems I can't get in, though...also, I need to find a Floating Stone to raise the Lunar Whale, because wishes/prayers are DEAD. Where is it? They have no idea, so we need to look.

Also, the Serpent Road is here, but it's apparently being haunted by evil spirits, so I still can't enter it. At least I have some sort of explanation now!


Baron seems to be the only other place where I can make headway that doesn't involve part members, and I can do that with a new airship. Apparently Red Dwarf is a reference, and that's the kind of thing that's okay - subtle but fitting in context. This is stupid and forced, though both at least keep with the theme of FF3/FF4 Airships coming from popular culture...

So this Floater. Hm. Maybe it's in the Ice Cave, because it's there in FF1?


Oh, fuck me dead, it is. King Santos gives it to the twins as a present.

Anyway, this unlocks the moon and Mt. Ordeals. Class change is optional in this hack. Well. I was orignally going to do this part of the game as an "as I explored it" kind of style, but I felt this flowed better and is more informative. Okay, so you can sort-of freely choose your party from here on out in the game. Because of cumbersome engine limitations, you can't add a character without losing one first. So I'll talk about how to obtain and lose every character and their advantages and disadvantages.


- Paladin Cecil: After getting the Floater, you can go to Mt. Ordeals. Cecil will have to fight a Zombie/Ghoul/Revenant group five times on his own. He'll lose whatever equipment he has on after class changing of course, but if you have a Flame Sword and some throwaway equipment, it's perfect. You face the Dark Knight at the end as usual, and then you're given one final test: to protect others, namely the rest of your party in a battle against the DarkMist. Honestly, Cecil (who still spawns at Level 1!) is the one who needs protecting here.

Go for it, or not? The obvious disadvantage is having to build him back up again, as well as losing access to some of the Dark Swords like Blood and Avenger. Dark Knight Cecil is still viable. But if you're not going to use Porom or Tellah, Paladin Cecil is very good. Like Dark Knight, he learns a variety of White Magic, and way more than he does in vanilla. This includes Cure3.


- Losing Kain: Go to Bahamut's Cave on the moon. The enemies in it are as dangerous as they always are, but you at least don't need to fight Behemoths. When you reach him, you face him with Kain alone. He greets Kain as the son of Ricard, and offers to take him up as an apprentice if he wins. To win, you simply jump over his Meganukes when they're at one; it's basically the Dark Bahamut battle from FF4a. Also in a fun glitch, Bahamut gives you a screwed-up message if you go back talk to him after.

Kain will automatically dispose of a boss if you lose him in this way, which is both a bad and a good thing. He can equip heavy armor (including the Dragon Armor found in Bahamut's Cave, which protects against the main three elements), can physically attack from the back row albeit with a few problems, and with his spears can deal air, fire, ice, lightning, and holy damage, as well as dealing racial damage to Mechs and Dragons with the Gungnir and Dragon Lance respectively. He can also equip axes, doing racial damage to Giants, Slimes, Reptiles, and Mages. He's extremely solid.


- Losing Palom/Porom: To lose the twins, you try to enter the Serpent's Road. You'll fight the EvilWall, who is weak to Light and despite starting really close dies really quickly. When you win, they petrify themselves to stop the wall from closing in further.

With Rosa and Rydia's abilities nerfed, they're the only characters to carry the full compliment of Black and White Magic respectively besides Tellah. Porom as you've seen is a capable front row fighter with hammers, dealing high damage on Mechs and Mages, as well as being able to hit with the Fire and Lightning element. Palom has his magic to rely on. Both good characters.


- Losing Edge: If you go to the Cave of Eblan, you'll find it infested with robots. The path that ordinarily leads to the castle's secret underground living quarters now leads to the Giant of Babel, where a surviving Lugae is. You fight the CPU at the end, and Edge leaves you to be with his people afterwards.

While Edge's Black Magic isn't too hot, he can throw things. Ashura, Kotetsu, and Murakumo can deal Holy, Dark, and Air damage respectively. Triton Dagger can deal Ice damage. Most interesting is the Assassin's Dagger. It doesn't seem to be anywhere in the hack from what I can tell, but it deals racial damage to Dragons, Reptiles, Giants, Slimes, and Mages, and may instantly KO a target. Fantastic weapon. Edge does suffer from low HP for a character that wants to be in the front row. He's also the only character who can't equip the White Robe, Dragon equipment, or Protect Armlet; he can't get resistance to the three basic elements. To him, the best defense is a good offense.

So oddly enough, I feel I want to keep this party. It's extremely solid, aside from the weirdness of Kain being in the back row.


- Obtaining Rydia: Speak to her in the Feymarch. You'll fight an upgraded Mombomb (explodes into GrayBombs and Balloons, or if she's strong enough, can outright kill it!) and the Baron Guards from her perspective and alone, both easy fights. She'll see her village being burned from her perspective, see the future, then join you - also because Cecil is the closest thing she has to family now.

Rydia continues to learn summon spells. Of the ones you haven't seen and their levels, 30: Mist/35: Flayr/40: Titan/45: Bird/50: Levia/55: Asura/60: Odin/65: Baham. The strongest is the last one at 60 power (and is even cast instantly), with Titan being 40 and Leviathan being 35. Rydia seems to shine at wiping out groups of enemies with her summons, but Black Magic seems stronger on single targets, like in FF5. To compare with some power numbers, Ice3 and friends are 64 power (and comes much sooner for Palom!) and Flare is 100 power. She can ignore Reflect with anything, which Palom only has Quake for.

Unlike what is claimed, she doesn't become a master of magic at any point to my knowledge. Her big flaw is the lack of any instant cast magic that's worthwhile up to Bahamut.


- Obtaining Rosa: Go to Bahamut's Lagoon. You'll see her trapped by tentacles, and then you have to face Octosoul. It has an 8-hit combo (laughable with Paladin's inherent Cover), and after using Search, will follow it up with the EvilWall's Crush. Oddly, she's the only character whose quest you can start without getting a WARNING. If you refuse her after the batlte, you can't get her.

Rosa can hit Mages and Dragons for racial damage, and can hit for all six elements. Her power is a bit on the low side, however, as aside from Yoichi Arrows, none of them have any attack value. She can't equip armlets with this setup, and staves are hardly acceptable damage-wise. Does get a decent selection of White Magic, at least.


- Obtaining Yang: Go to the Mythril Mines, which are a new dungeon with an original design! Most of its enemies are from the Sealed Cave/Ice Mines. Yang apparently went off to find the SeaRuby to cure the King of Fabul's poison, which randomly seemed to happen during the Fabul raid and only came up now. Beat the uncreative repeat palette swap Sealion near the end to obtain the SeaRuby, whose only real trick is a BigWave. The Thor Hammer is also in here, pretty useful hammer.

Yang punches stuff for consistently high damage, but has no elemental or racial properties with his fists due to the lack of claws, so his damage is a bit too consistent. As we went over before, Chakra is booty butt. Probably the worst character because of it. Two things of recruiting him or at least doing the quest and making him disappear forever, though: you receive the Save the Queen from the King, a neat Paladin sword that is weaker than other options but gives +15 Agility, and if Edge is in your party, she'll tell Yang to give the Cleaver to his ninja friend. Nothing that you'll miss, but still nice to have.


- Obtaining Edward: That body will finally be out of the way, so you can go into the basement of Damcyan Castle to find him with Anna, or rather an evil spirit possessing her corpse. He'll play music to calm the spirit while you beat it up and try not to get destroyed by its status magic. After Anna thanks you for freeing her, tells Edward to go out and love the entire world.

Edward performs as well as he would as if it were the postgame in GBA, getting the fantastic Loki's Lute that deals racial damage on every race in the game. There's also the Blood Harp for absorption, the Requiem Harp for Holy (and Spirits), and Apollo's Harp for Fire (and Dragons). His harps do require a double grip which limits his use of armlets, which is a bit unfortunate. He can equip the White Robe for the resistances, but remains quite frail.

His later songs kind of disappoint. Dirge (25) damages and may inflict Count on all enemies, Magic (36) recovers ally MP, Image (49) adds Blink to all allies and is definitely useful, Angel (64) is the same as Ciriatto's, and Final (81) restores all allies HP/MP, at the cost of an ungodly charge time of 15 and getting to level 81 in the first place.


- Obtaining Tellah: Go to the Magnetic Cave. It's a much shorter dungeon than in vanilla, being only three rooms including the final one, but still has its gimmick. Beat the Dark Elf at the end to obtain him and have him learn all spells in the game. The biggest problem from the battle against him is Tellah himself and his variety of high-damaging and instant kill spells.

Despite his status as a magical jack of all trades, Tellah has two huge flaws. The first is Edge syndrome. The other characters will have leveled up in the meantime due to being part of the shadow party, but Tellah will rejoin at a mere level 20. This is compounded by his not really gaining a lot of HP/MP until like Level 40. He needs a lot of investment to be worthwhile but can do Palom and Porom's jobs if you get him. Not at the same time and with a stat deficency, but at least the latter is something you might really want.


- Obtaining Cid: After getting the TARDIS, speak to him in the Dwarves' Castle. Beat the Ship'sAI boss, which more or less acts like Ivan Ooze from vanilla with all the Reflect business.

Cid uses Hammers and Axes, wears heavy armor, and has a truckload of HP. His attacks can be of the three basic elements, as well as being effective on Mechs and Mages. He's a bit of a one-trick pony, but the high HP and heavy armor (Dragon equipment) helps a lot. He's solid on his own, though not as tanky as Kain or the Cecils due to inability to equip shields with his hammers.


There's interactions between characters as you go through with these. For example, if you have Telllah when getting Edward they'll acknowledge each other, Rydia will make a smart remark about a Rat's Tail before Kain fights Bahamut

There are a couple other side-quests not linked to anything. You can retrieve the Adamant from the Mythril Mines to obtain the Ragnarok from Kokkol the Smithy. You can also fight Odin, to learn a bit about Cecil's history and how he adopted him as a child. He'll comment on whether or not you changed classes, acknowledge Kain and Rosa if either is there, and bestow you his late wife's sword, Excalibur, after a battle.

And a few other item locations...
- Air Knife: Damcyan Basement.
- Sage's Staff: Mt. Ordeals.
- Break Blade: Magnetic Cave. Is notably not magnetic.
- Venom Axe: Magnetic Cave. Is magnetic!
- Defender: Giant of Babil.
- Yoichi Bow: Giant of Babil.
- Gungnir: Giant of Babil
- Thor Hammer: Mythril Mines
- Muramasa: Mythril Mines
- Blood Harp: Mythril Mines
- Triton Dagger: Mythril Mines
- Slasher: Mythril Mines.
- Apollo Harp: Lunar Passage
- Holy Lance: Lunar Passage
- Murasame: Lunar Passage


Anyway, I checked out class change. I was able to use the speedrunning method of grinding to get Paladin Cecil back up to speed, though I used MacGiants instead of D.Machines because Porom could one-shot them; the D.Machines are strangely not machines. This also levels up everyone but Tellah, should I change my mind on this party, since they'll get all that experience as well - unsplit!

Let's finish what we started. So you go to the moon and are welcomed by Golbez, who sics the Eight Archfiends on you. This was a fun fight, with most everyone able to do heavy damage to everything in it.

If you got rid of Kain, he automatically kills the Shadow Dragon here. Since I did not, I had to fight it, and blew it away extremely quickly (and got another Cursed Ring!). Then it's Golbez himself, who wasn't too difficult. His counterattacks and DarkHoly were painful, but nothing I couldn't manage.

What happens next varies depending on whether you class changed Cecil or not. If you did, you kill him for real. Zeromus shows up, explains this is really an asteroid you're on instead of a moon, and all the hatred including your own for Golbez summoned him. If you did not, Golbez does not die. He begs for mercy, explains he has awakened an evil spirit, and you send him to face whatever his fate may be in Mysidia. Also either way, you can't turn back, because this hack loves its "you can't go here" triggers. At least there's a shop at the entrance to the Lunar Subterrane.

Instead of being able to talk, the Moon Crystals simply say what they are: Time, Space, Matter, Energy, Infinity, Singularity, Spirit, Mind.

(I didn't finish the report, but did the hack. One big change: the Crystal Armor/Demon Armor, depending on whether you upgrade Cecil or not, is found from the Lunar Subterrane bosses. Zeromus is the same as usual except Paladin Golbez shows up to make him vulnerable if you don't change class, but there's something special for beating him with a solo Paladin Cecil: an extra dungeon where you find FuSoYa, who turns out to be Zemus, who turns out to have created Lavos from Chrono Trigger. Winning as solo Dark Knight, meanwhile, gives a New Game+. There's a Let's Play though if you want to read that)

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